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Just trying to buy some eggs, man. . .

Description: 

I woke up on a Saturday morning and realized I was out of eggs, so I drove over to the next holler to buy some from a neighbor. I had just thrown on my muck boots with what I had worn to bed, so I was wearing an odd combination of baggy sweater, leggings, and big muddy boots, but nothing too out of the ordinary for my neck of the woods. I got out of the car and knocked on the door. Around the time that I was noticing that no one was home, a gigantic white truck pulled into the driveway. The driver, a man with gray hair dressed in full camo (deer season had just started), rolled down the window and shouted, "Nobody's home?" I walked closer, confirmed, and asked if he knew a time when they were likely to be home. He said no. I walked back to the porch to set down the stack of empty egg cartons I had brought to give back and could feel his stare on my ass as he started to drive off. I got back in my car, and he changed course to back up, roll his window back down, and say, "I just want you to know, you're a real sweetheart." I know that doesn't sound too creepy, but I was thoroughly creeped out by his tone and expression. I'm pretty sure what he really meant was, "You got a real nice ass."

Date of report: 
Tuesday, December 16, 2014 - 07:30
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